i've always wondered, what it was like to be truly happy.

if you think this is a blog about finding happiness, STOP. it's not about the secret to being happy.
if, however, you wish to listen- or read rather- to my worthless ramblings, then do read on.

i live a relatively normal life.
my parents provide for my daily needs, they give me things that i ask for. basically, i should be happy about everything.

But then, why is it that i can't recall ever smiling and laughing truly?

what is it that is missing? why is it that i'm unhappy?

of course i know the answer to that. it's because, no matter how much money i have, how many things i get the one thing i want, it seems i can't get. no matter how long and hard i pray, it just won't come true.

i see it clearly, the cracks that they try to cover so desperately.i sometimes wonder how long it'll last. this game of charades, that has gotten old. when will all of it be over?

a happiness that would fill this void in my heart, seems impossible for me to grasp.

it may seem like an overly melodramatic blog. with no concrete description, but this is part of my disorganized ramblings i suppose.