my faith and my heart

for my college friends whom i care for and love dearly.

my morning are not the same as before. when i was in college, i'd take a cab ride to tipol where i'd find madz waiting for me near the canteen. now, when i go to school i take the crammed and packed and poorly air conditioned LRT. when i get to school, i'm usually the first one to arrive and i just sit there silently.

back in college me and madz would eat a very unhealthy breakfast of chips and C2 apple, chatting, pseudo reviewing and waiting for other people to arrive. Now, i have no breakfast buddy, i read the trans in the morning for the quiz that day, but i still wait for people to arrive.

i used to enjoy the afternoon breaks we had, when we ate kwek kwek, fish ball, shawarma (with extra cheese), cheese sticks and the very accessible joey's pizza.. times when we all ate fast and still had time to chat in between chewing our food.. then there were no awkward  silences because we all wanted to talk. here we have the eating before going home ritual, we chat but there are times when everyone will be quiet.

i enjoyed the birthday surprises and how we happily planned what we'd do and when we'd do it.. especially that time when we were at madz's house and kim ang allyl thought they were doing a surprise birthday bash for the other;.. (me and madz are clever people).. now we still have birthday surprises, but i still don't fully know them to be fully involved..

i miss our christmas parties, with the secret monitas a week before the actual party. as well as the part where we form alliaces and break the pact of not telling anyone who you drew. the secret consultations which consisted of what the gift should be as well as trying hard to keep everything a secret. now, i don't know if we'll have christmas parties now do i know if we'll have a pseudo birthday just to get a free scoop of icecream..

i miss our cam-whoring days.. me and kim's fusion, trying to find madz's photogenic side.. and my all time favorite.. candidate for ugliest pico, where i almost always win. now, i'm finding it hard to smile the same as before. because i know that the people i'm with are not the same people as you guys.. and it's so hard not to compare you to them (even now as i am writing this, i'm holding back tears).

you guys are my family, my sisters, my soulmates, the loves of my life.. so missing you would be inevitable, that much i know. but i also know that we are all connected by a special bond, we might not see each other as often as we want. we might only be able to see each other in facebook, but i know our hearts are always connected.

our college days are one of the few treasured memories i have.. and you five are the highlight of it. my friends now in med school are part of a new chapter in my life, they don't mean any less just that i still don't know them all very well.

always look forward, to see your future; often look at your side, to see friends and family who walk beside you; and sometime look back, not for your want of going back but to see just how far you've gone.

i know God guided us all to meet each other, because, though all of us are scarred and broken, we became each others' support. and i know that the new people we meet in our lives are people whom God sent for us to be touched and for us to touch their lives. my heart will always be with you, i left a fragment of my heart with you and i took a piece from yours in return. that's how we become whole, we piece together the fragments of people's hearts and combine them with our own. so i thank you for making me more whole as a person.